Trust is a choice. I don’t believe that people have to earn your trust, I believe that you have to choose to trust them. Sure, trust can be irrevocably broken, of course, but in those instances the choice is still yours. You choose that you can no longer trust this person and move on, accordingly.
Choosing to trust is fucking hard, though. It requires an uncomfortable amount of vulnerability and faith in another human being, two things I struggle immensely with. Choosing to trust is acknowledging what we can’t control. We can’t control the actions of others. We can’t control the choices that anyone else makes. It’s a lot easier to look through the lenses of suspicion because if we’re hurt while wearing these dark glasses, at least the sting isn’t accompanied by a blindside.
The truth is, people lie all the time (the irony of this sentence wasn’t intended, but I like it). We tell white lies to spare feelings, we tell “small” lies to avoid minor, annoying repurcussions, we tell bigger lies when we’re afraid of an outcome. We lie to our parents, our partners, our friends. Those who say they don’t lie are the biggest liars of all. The thing is, when we are confronted with a known lie, this is the time the trust choice comes into play. We must ask ourselves, is this fracture in the trust facade something I can smooth over and move on from? Do the cons of the betrayal outweigh the pros of continuing to trust?